Technology is the Way to Do It

I’m feeling very smug. Technology is my friend. I got a free flight to Hamburg, on a few Star Alliance Air Miles I had left with Ethiopian Airlines. I wanted to use them up, as I hope never to travel with them again. And, I got Chat GPT to plan all my itinerary. Time in Hamburg itself and two or three recommended day trips to Lübeck, Schwerin and possibly Lüneburg. I downloaded the Hamburg HVV app, to give me directions, and used it to buy the Deutschlandticket (Germans love compound words), for 58 euros. That gives me a month's travel on all the S- (Schnell) and U- (Unter) Bahns (there are a lot of these in Hamburg serving the suburbs) and Deutche Bahn (DB) regional trains. That seems like good value to me. (Why don't we do that in England?)

Things start to go wrong when I get the S-Bahn from the airport into town. Google’s fault this time. Orientation at the station where I emerge is, as always, a challenge. But there are roadworks everywhere. And Google doesn’t seem to know about the much faster path, through the park, which I discover in daylight. Lost in the dark, for ten minutes, in a quiet area, in a strange city, isn't fun. But all is not lost. I'm rewarded with a free cocktail when I finally stagger in the right door.

Off, to Explore Hamburg

Today, starts with a mild kerfuffle as I have to try and work out which direction Unterbahn I need to take to get to the docks. It's not very clear. And the Berliner Tor Station, which I have to navigate, offers two obstacles. It's a major intersection, which is both bewildering and useful. It's on the main line, from the airport, for example. It also has possibly the steepest, longest, staircase and overhead walkway that I've ever seen.

Hamburg, The Harbour City

Hamburg is Germany’s second-largest city, a dynamic urban centre, based around its vibrant port, the third biggest in Europe (after Rotterdam and Antwerp.) This is an inland port, based on the River Elbe which divides into two main branches and several smaller ones as it flows to the north coast, at Cuxhaven. The result is a huge harbour area, with several basins and a complex network of canals and bridges.

And, eventually, I'm on the Elbe. On the Landungsbrucke (landing bridges), to be precise, where all the sightseeing boats moor up. And there are a lot of them. One of the most famous and largest harbours in the world, a hub of maritime history, also seems to be one of the most colourful and eclectic. All manner of craft are lined up beside the jetties. Everything from cruise liners, to antique sailing vessels, to beautiful small wooden craft, to paddle steamers, skiffs and utilitarian dredgers. The Rickmer Rickmers is a historic three-masted steel cargo sailing ship, now transformed into a museum ship.

It’s surrounded by an accompanying match of eclectic architecture. From the oddly soaring and wave topped Elbphilharmonie Hall, to the Gothic churches, and modern glass plated blocks. Round towers disguise war time air raid shelters. The Zombeck Tower was built in 1940, with capacity for 600, though it often sheltered up to 1,800. Twelve similar shelters were constructed in Hamburg. This one is now a Portuguese restaurant.. The Landungsbrucke is chock a block with tourist shops and restaurants. It's all enthralling.

So, a harbour cruise is definitely called for. Technology time again. I have to download an app to access an English commentary and put in my earbuds. I'm happy to do that. I'm not enjoying the choice of odd rock music blaring over the tannoy.

The Speicherstadt

We begin with the Speicherstadt (literally Warehouse Town), the largest warehouse area in the world and now a UNESCO recognised area. It was constructed in the late Victorian era, running into the twentieth century, on islands in the Elbe, designed to serve Hamburg’s Free Port. Its brick buildings rest on millions of oak piles. About half of the distinctive warehouses were destroyed during World War II, in Operation Gomorrah. They’ve been reconstructed, but this is still very much a commercial area. Flats are forbidden. Surprisingly, a huge amount of the storage is given over to oriental carpets, as well as coffee, tea and spices (it was once the world’s largest coffee repository), continuing a long mercantile tradition. Der Spiegel is also based here. There are 20 bridges, 14 of which are protected.

And so much for technology again. There is no signal for much of the trip, so my commentary is truncated. But there is a map on the app, so I can track our progress. It even gives me the boat’s speed. Nautical miles (or knots) are called seemeile (sea miles). Naturally, we see all manner of boats, large and small, especially as we emerge into other harbour areas. There's even a ship church.

The Elbphilharmonie Hall

Past the glittering and prominent Philharmonic Hall, which was opened in 2017, seven years late and well over budget. It has the longest curved escalator in the world, carrying visitors up to a deck, and great panoramic views across the harbour. I visit it later. For some reason you have to queue for a ticket, even though it's free to go up. As well as the concert hall, with its apparently amazing acoustics, it also contains a hotel and flats, with hidden balconies.

The Hamburg Hafen City

There's ambitious new inner city development all round the Hafen City here, very much ongoing. Though the area is low lying and very vulnerable to flooding, so the buildings are elevated, on wharves.

Down one branch of the Elbe alongside enormous wharves and huge derricks. One wharf area is the largest space for dumped cars in the country. It's a very clever boat I'm on. The roof unfolds when it rains sliding along to cover us all. Though limiting photo opportunities.

Altona Container Port

Then, back on the main north Elbe, west of Hamburg to Altona. Originally part of Denmark this area is really a separate city. The a variety of ships on display expands still further. super powerful tug boats and an old Russian submarine up next. on the quay, the distinctive domed Fischmarkt is a protected building and they only sell fish on Sundays. The container port here is brightly hued and surprisingly fascinating. And I need to engage all my superlatives for large. The ships are enormous. Gigantic. Known as Conroro ships. (Container roll.on,roll.off.)

Into a lock beneath the Kohlbrand curvy bridge. 35000 lorries a year pass over this, carrying cargo to and from the port. Though it prevents high cruise liners entering and is likely to be replaced with a tunnel. The Ross Canal we're in joins the two branches of the Elbe. There's audience participation: arm waving to ‘The Rhythm of the Night’, while we're waiting. Excellent. Past the mammoth Blohm and Voss dockyard, used today for repairing naval ships and mega yachts, with a dry dock for working on hulls.

The Reeperbahn

Still in Altona, I’ve walked up to the infamous Reeperbahn, in the St Pauli district. If people have heard of anything at all in connection with Hamburg it will be the Reeperbahn. With its lines of sex shows (or rather its buildings advertising sex shows), it is pretty much as expected. A wide street lined with cafes, bars and lurid signs. I'm sure it's much livelier at night, but there's little that's explicit, other than a few pictures of semi naked women pouring champagne over each other. One or two of the shows are open. These run 24 hours and there are quirky shops.

And there's the Beatles Platz, with four odd outline metal sculptures standing on what is supposed to be a giant disc, bearing the names of all their hits. One more figure is watching from the edge. That's Stuart Sutcliffe, who left the band before they became famous and then died very young. The drummer figure is supposedly a hybrid of Best and Starr. The city proudly boasts that John Lennon said, 'I may have been born in Liverpool, but I grew up in Hamburg'.

Hamburg Old Town

Here, the restaurant just round the corner suggested by Google is closed for the holidays. Wiener schnitzel in another, typically traditional with large paintings on the walls, by the town hall square then.

St Michael's Church is known affectionately as Michel by the locals. There is a cathedral but it's Catholic and this is the leading protestant church and the key religious building in Hamburg. It has a 100 metre tower you can visit, taking the lift to the viewing platform up top for eight euros. It's an excellent 360 degree view, but my vertigo sets in almost immediately. It's too narrow and insubstantial up here, above the city. I cling onto pillars, take some photos and descend as soon as I can.

I’m using Google to navigate the streets, while I’m walking. The lady giving the directions pronounces the German names even more badly than she does her French. I’m squirming, in case any of the locals can hear.

Hamburgers

Google AI tells me (literally) that I’m being ignorant when I inquire about the habits of Hamburgers. It tells me they’re food, not people. But the folk from Hamburg are indeed called Hamburgers. They greet each other with ‘Moin’ - it’s a kind of ‘Hi’ which features a lot in the city and in the whole of North Germany, for that matter. As I’ve mentioned before there's English signage everywhere, in Germany, sometimes featuring instead of German. It’s interesting how foreigners sometimes play with our language even more than we do. A whimsical ‘Smartments’ on new flats and ‘Diet comes from die’, on trays of chocolates.

And the food, hamburger, is named after this city, explaining why they’re beef not ham. A minced beef dish, often referred to as ‘Hamburg steak’, was popular in Hamburg, in the nineteenth century, and German immigrants brought this dish, and the concept of a beef patty, to the United States.

Lübeck or Schwerin?

I've forgiven AI so far, but then things get much worse. I've decided to go to Lübeck and use HVV, to plan my route and timings, to the Hauptbahnhof (main station) there. Except, after I've set off, on the S-Bahn, the app announces that my train, (from the Hamburg Central Station) has been cancelled. I will have to wait 50 minutes for the next one. A rapid rethink. I decide I'll try for Schwerin instead. But no. There are works on the line. No direct trains until November. HVV offers several lengthy alternatives, some requiring bus replacements. Chat GPT didn't mention that. This really is like England. I ask at the train information desk. They suggest I go via Lübeck.

So, a long day combining both seems like the best and most efficient option.

Not Getting to Schwerin

The double decker train to Lübeck is packed. I'm obviously not the only one who thinks train travel is good value here. Although they did cancel the last train, so that possibly has something to do with it too. As well as the closure of the main Berlin-Hamburg line. The scenery is gently rolling rural, from almost immediately outside Hamburg. I almost have time to appreciate it.

But disaster, when I arrive at Lübeck. The connecting train, to Bad Kleinem, is running 30 minutes late. So, the next connection,, on to Schwerin is not going to work. Overall journey time, from Lübeck to Schwerin, is now estimated at another three hours. I don't think so. Other than the fact that Schwerin is supposed to have a very nice castle on a lake and was recently UNESCO listed it's in the Lake District, and also in the state of Mecklenberg-Pommern. And I wanted the tick. So, I wait and ride the Bad Kleinem train, when it finally arrives, to Herrnburg, the first proper village, on the line, over the border.

Herrnburg, Mecklenberg-Pommern

Herrnburg is a mainly modern settlement, strung along the main road, with a sprinkling of wood framed older buildings, a red brick Gothic church and, in pride of place, an old customs house. No shops, except for two stores, by the railway station. The Edeka has a café and a counter assistant who doesn't speak English (no-one does round here and why should they, despite all the signage?) so I'm dredging out my basic German. I don't understand the word she's using to describe the contents of the sandwich I'm pointing at. but, she does a very passable impression of a turkey.

I think an hour here is plenty, but even so the train is 20 minutes late. It seems a matter of principle for Deutche Bahn. And the driver is in no hurry to leave the station, when it does arrive. A scheduled nine minute journey back to Lübeck has now taken 45. Technology has also failed me weatherwise. The forecast says 16 degrees Celsius. It is well over 20. So I'm sweltering, as I wait and wait.

Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein

Lübeck is the far side of Schleswig-Holstein state and is possibly worth all the angst. The Old Town, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, with its approximately 1,800 listed buildings (Gothic, Baroque, Renaissance and Classicist styles), on its islet, is deliciously pretty. It has winding alleyways and subtly pastel painted tall houses with striking stepped gables. There's a cathedral, with double towers, as well as the green spires of St. Mary's (also double towers), St. Peter's and St. Aegidien churches soaring aloft. I love the handsome shoulders. The Seven Towers are renowned and even feature on jam jar labels. There are more, but those are the important ones.

The magnificent Hanseatic town hall is large enough to be called an ensemble. The oldest part dates back to the thirteenth century. There’s a later Gothic façade with rounded holes and a Renaissance arbour. Apparently it’s a ‘stone fairytale’. Lübeck was, in fact, the centre and key member of the Hanseatic League.

Biergartens line the tranquil Trave River and there’s a beyond picturesque row of old red brick salt storehouses opposite (if you ignore the scaffolding). The whole delightful old town entrance, via one of the river bridges, is guarded by the medieval Holstentor (gate), with its two imposing towers and multitude of staircases. That’s important enough to be depicted on some of the German two euro coins.

Lübeck and World War II

Much of the splendour of the Old Town is due to restoration. Over thirty percent of the area was heavily damaged, in Operation Millennium, in World War II. The RAF raid on Lübeck, carried out by 234 bombers, was the first major attack on a German city during the war. The rationale was to damage German morale and retaliate for earlier attacks on British cities. The collapsed towers and bells of St. Mary's Church, serve as reminders of the event.

Lübeck's Other Attractions

There's shopping all down the pedestrianised centre, of course, and my delight is marred, for a moment, when I'm charged a euro to use the toilet in a mall. I pay up, though it's a steep demand. Then I notice that everyone else is just walking in. I'm thinking I've been conned, but I'm not sure how.

Lübeck also has house museums, devoted to Willy Brandt and Gunter Grass, and a Marzipan Museum. Willy Brandt, Chancellor of Germany in the early 1970s, was born in Lübeck, in 1913, when it was a Free City State. His birth name was Herbert Ernst Karl Frahm, but he changed it, more than once, to evade detection by the Nazis. Controversial Nobel prize awarded writer Gunter Grass was actually born in Danzig (today in Poland). He lived in Lübeck for the latter part of his life. And, apparently, marzipan is a local delicacy, not to be confused with the vile paste we buy in England, to roll on top of cakes.

Lüneburg, Lower Saxony

I’m risking the railways again today, to travel to the spa town of Lüneburg. It ticks the state of Lower Saxony and was once important enough to be part of the Duke of Brunswick-Lüneburg’s title. (Lunenberg in Canada was named for the Duke and therefore after this place.)

Today's a good day. The train leaves almost on time and arrives only seven minutes late. Another riverside setting; this time it’s the Ilmenau. And, OMG this place is cute. The houses, mills and towers are mainly Gothic red brick, a sure sign of historic wealth. Some date back to the 1200s. This is a town where you really do have to keep looking up. Signs and statues aplenty but the crow-stepped gables are extraordinary, with their three dimensional designs. There are even doors up aloft. I'm sitting opposite the one used as an architectural illustration in Wikipedia. And I’m sampling the carrot cake, on my worldwide mission, to compare different versions. This carrot cake actually has rolls of carrot adorning the butter icing. I'm not sure I approve.

Lüneburg and World War II

Lüneburg escaped the massive devastation inflicted on Hamburg, during World War II, but still emerged from the conflict dilapidated and badly in need of repair. Plans were mooted to tear down the whole of the old town and rebuild it, but a citizen, with the unlikely name of Curt Pomp, began a Preserve Cultural Heritage Movement and instead the buildings were restored. It seems he also had a prescient eye on tourism. Today, Lüneburg has the second highest density of bars in Europe. Presumably, after Krakow, though this boast seems hard to prove. I can try.

Lüneburg featured significantly in World War II in other ways. This was the place (on the heath) where the German North West armies surrendered. It was also the home of the Belsen Trials, which preceded the Nuremburg Trials and took to task those who worked at Belsen and Auschwitz.

Exploring Lüneburg

A tour of the key sights, attempting to use Google and hence walking in the wrong direction several times. The Rathaus, on the marketplace, dates back to 1244, but has an ornate baroque frontage. It escaped war damage, but had already been badly affected by a seventeenth century storm. The Am Sande Square is even older. The Old Town unexpectedly extends for some distance. There’s a lot to see: a warren of pedestrianised streets and very little that is tacky. (Though, incongruously there's an Irish pub housed in a riverside brick building.)

The German Salt Museum

Just outside this area is the unexpectedly fascinating German Salt Museum. Lüneburg was a major player in the Hanseatic League, because of its salt mine. It provided the region’s essential food preservative and this white gold made the town rich. There's even a timber crane (1797), the Alter Kran, in the harbour area, on the riverside, which was used to load the salt.

The use of salt as a preservative was said to have been discovered accidentally by a local hunter who dipped a hide in a pond. A typical legend, but this is only one version. The salt was used especially to conserve herring, from Scania, in Sweden and an old salt road to Lübeck ( I saw the storehouses there) was even established. Although they had to revert to ships as the carts were robbed frequently. But the herring went elsewhere or were fished out and the demand for salt diminished over the years. The mine closed, in 1980, after operating for over a thousand years.

The Lübeck Water Tower

Another must see, in Lübeck, is the Old Water Tower. Google informs me that this was built in the early twentieth century and forms part of the old town walls. Only one half of this information is correct. It's a great view across the red roofs of town from the top. Not quite Dubrovnik, but pretty. There are stairs descending through the various floors which have historic exhibitions. But the staircase is open sided and illuminated by a creepy fluorescent blue light. No way I can venture down that without wanting to throw myself off it.

Essen und Trinken

Eating and drinking in Germany, this trip, has been difficult and disappointing, so far. My favourite kartoffelsalat is elusive. Even wurst isn't widely available; not that I want any. Schnitzel is dry and unexciting. Burgers abound (of course). Cakes dry and not as tasty as they look. A triumph of style over substance. And Coca Cola seems to have been entirely supplanted by the local caffeine heavy Fritz Cola, which I don't much care for. Service is diffident and also elusive. Perhaps I'm looking in all the wrong places. My hip hotel (industrial chic warehouse style with ‘storage room lifts’) doesn't serve anything remotely Germanic. The moussaka might scrape a three out of ten. The pisco sour, however, is excellent.

Let's see what an inn by the river in Lüneburg brings. (There are indeed, many bars.) Sparkling rhubarb juice. And actually a very tasty, if expensive, at tourist prices, meal of chicken, with a creamy mushroom sauce and really delicious duchesse potatoes. And I haven't yet sampled one of the ice cream parlours. A sundae is a Becher here. Strawberry flavour with fresh fruit goes down very nicely, on the harbour waterfront.

Leaving Lüneburg

There are two stations at Lüneburg, east and west, opposite each other, across a square and both have platforms for Hamburg. It’s very confusing. The west station is just one platform and the station building is now a casino. The east station is the main town station and the HVV app suggests that the trains from here are faster. It's all a gamble and I'm bound to make the wrong choice. There used to be a third station on the square, which served the south. Thank heavens that's been demolished. Sure enough, the ‘fast train’ is running 15 minutes late. The Internet tells me that 'just 62.5% of DB's ICE and IC long-distance trains made it within six minutes of the arrival time, in 2024'. There are worse things than British Rail.

Bremen

A last day and a last ' free journey’. No Schwerin, (sadly), has meant a change of plans, but I'm determined to make good use of my Deutschlandticket. Bremen earns me another state tick; Bremen city is an enclave state which also incorporates Bremerhaven. And it is only an hour and a bit from the Hamburg Hauptbahnhof, though the scenery, it has to be said, is not very exciting, in Lower Saxony. Imagine my astonishment, when Google informs me, that the bustling Bremen Central Station, where I've just arrived, is permanently closed.

Exploring Bremen

Bremen, however, is another unexpected delight. It's eighteen minutes to the centre, according to Google, and ten minutes in reality. On the way, in the midst of the urban agglomeration, a snippet of countryside. A river, green banks and a windmill.

Once there, I follow a tourist trail, of large headed brass and steel nails (The Nagel Route), for one and a half kilometres. It’s not very obvious, not always very easy to find and I seem to be the only person pursuing it. It begins at the thirteenth century Church of Our Lady and the statues of the 'Bremen Town Musicians'. These animals commemorate the Brothers Grimm story of that name and are said to bring you luck if you rub them. The PR seems to have rather missed the point that the animals never actually made it to Bremen, in the tale. But there’s a long queue of folk waiting to have their photo taken with them, so onwards, past the enormous Rathaus.

The Bremen Town Hall really is an ensemble, originally built in the Gothic style, in the early fifteenth century, after Bremen joined the Hanseatic League. The building was renovated in the so-called Weser Renaissance style, in the early seventeenth century. Then, a new town hall was built, next to the old one, in the early twentieth century. Next door, is St Peter’s Cathedral, in darker stone, which, like the Our Lady Church makes it appear suitably ancient. And indeed, the oldest parts date back to the eleventh century.

Opposite, lies the grandeur of the Market Square. the stand out building here is the gilded Schütting, the seat of the Bremen Chamber of Commerce, Other landmarks abound, the most famous being the figure of the legendary Roland. Little is factually known about Charlemagne’s military leader, but the unmissable fifteenth century statue symbolizes the city’s freedoms and rights. (They're having a God Squad rock concert on the middle of the square).

Böttcherstraße

The nails take me on to Böttcherstraße, a short (100 metres) and quaint alley of early twentieth century houses (and shops and restaurants), cleverly marketed as a cultural icon. The gilded bronze relief, 'Der Lichtbringer' (The Bearer of Light), by Bernhard Hoetger, adorns the entrance. Wikipedia tells me that the pervading architectural style here is Brick Expressionism. Words fail me.

There's a glockenspiel high above the tourist information building, timed to play several times a day. Then, alongside the River Weser. It's probably more 'deep and wide' here than it is in Hamelin, further south. There are pleasure boats, moored by the promenade, of course.

The Schnoorviertel

Back through the Schnoor Quarter, a toytown wonderland of 111 fifteenth and sixteenth century wood framed houses, with wildly pitched roofs, people dressed as pirates and, naturally, more boutiques and cafes. There's a statue labelled Jacobus Major, which I thought was a pirate too, but it turns out to be apostle James the Great, attired as a pilgrim. So maybe the guy in a tricorn hat isn't a pirate either. Schnoor is the old German word for 'string'; rope was once crafted here. It's also a good way to describe the buildings, strung closely together. A Bremen tourist site tells me that 'The New York Post ranks the unique streets of the Schnoor among the "coolest" in the world'. It's definitely a tourist trap. It's crammed.

The station toilet at Bremen charges 1.5 euros. Perhaps I wasn't conned in Lübeck after all.

Heading Home from Hamburg

I decide I will relax, for a couple of hours, in my hip hotel, before taking the adjacent S-Bahn back to the airport. But it's living up to its hipness. They've cleared the dining area and the live music, presumably intended for later, is rehearsing very loudly. Time to go home. But North Germany has been a great trip, delivering far more than I expected. And that’s definitely the best way round.

Read more about Germany here.

Train to Trier

From Luxembourg to Trier is just an hour on the train, hugging the banks of the River Mosel. We're both rushing to join the Rhine. The scenery green and pleasant enough, the famed vineyards beginning to appear as we near the city, vertical lines up the lower slopes, dark green forests up top. There are no luggage racks and I daren’t let go of my case, as it careers all over the carriage.

Trier

Trier claims several records. It is said to be the oldest town in Germany - having been founded by the Romans. There’s a huge relic to prove it - the dark sandstone Porta Nigra - the largest Roman gate north of the Alps. There’s also a Roman bridge, spa and amphitheatre.

In addition, a very old market place, dating from 958 and the oldest basilica in Germany. Here are sets of chiming bells, an ancient stone cross, carved gables and an imposing city hall tower.

I follow the marked tourist trail through the centre of town to a huge UNESCO listed cathedral complex. St Peter’s is the oldest church in the country, having been commissioned by Constantine at the same time as St Peter’s in Rome; the earliest parts date back to the fourth century. It is Romanesque and fortress like; the original cathedral was four times the size of this one, so it must have been truly enormous. It houses (so they say) the seamless or sacred robe that Jesus wore at the crucifixion, brought back to the church by Helena, Constantine’s mother (her palace is under the cathedral). though it’s sealed away in a shrine and you only get to see it every several decades or so. In addition there’s also a nail from the crucifixion, on display in the treasury. The slightly daintier Church of Our Lady adjacent to the main cathedral is the oldest Gothic church in the country. That one was begin in 1230.

Well, I attempt to follow the tourist trail but either I get lost or the signs disappear, so I'm reduced to wandering and looking vainly at my map. But I manage to discover another huge Roman basilica - Aula Palatinata - this one known as Constantine’s Basilica, a splendid pink Electoral Palace, set in a park resplendent with fountains and neat flower beds and the house where Karl Marx was born. These are linked by pedestrianised shopping streets - the shops dull mid range chains and cut price stores for the most part.

Along the Mosel

Plan A, long since buried in the mists of time involved a Rhine cruise which would have terminated here, so I wander down to the river to see where my boat would have docked. A pleasure cruise is about to depart and I hop on. I'm exhausted and it’s scorching hot today, there is virtually no breeze.

It’s possibly the least scenic part of the Mosel, camp sites, cranes and the odd monument. We sail under the old Roman Bridge. It’s only marginally cooler on the water, but at least I'm sitting down.

My Hotel in Trier

Romantik Hotel Zur Glocke is the oldest inn in Trier (of course) and thoughtfully serves its guest welcome drinks - sparkling Mosel wine. I also need to mention the Bierkeller – superb schnitzel.

Train to Koblenz

I had been really looking forward to revisiting the Mosel - I have fond memories of goblets of wine sipped in fragrant gasthaus gardens, gazing across the water to the vine laden banks. Sadly, it’s raining today. Dark skies rarely improve the view and that’s definitely the case as we rattle through what is clearly gorgeous river valley scenery, ladders of vines with delightful villages scattered on both sides.

Koblenz on the Rhine

Koblenz has some similarities to Trier, but not the same claims to antiquity. It has a palace, the Kurfurstliches Schloss this time, grey-white and spreading along the banks of the river and a compact old town with churches, more sets of bells and some nice examples of those small curved tile dormer windows that are common round here.

Koblenz also has a lot of shops on pedestrian streets. It makes more of its river though. Much of the town is built along the banks and the palace churches and other monuments form part of the mile long Rhine promenade, which is a UNESCO heritage site. I saunter along here several times, savouring the views. Probably the most well known area is the gargantuan Kaiser Wilhelm monument on the Deutche Eck (corner) at the confluence of the Mosel and Rhine. The name Koblenz actually originates from  the Latin confluentes. It's just about obligatory to have your photo taken here.

Opposite, is the huge and sprawling but ugly Rhine fortress, the second largest in Europe. You can take a cable car across to the top if you are so inclined. I hope the view from up top is nicer than the one from down here. There’s a smaller version of the fortress above the station, quite close to my hotel. It turns out that this is the prison.

Am Rhein (On the Rhine)

I'm taking a day cruise on the Rhine to replace the week long journey I had originally booked. Even the day cruises are curtailed due to lack of demand. The boat normally seats 600, has currently been limited to 285 and today is carrying under 20 passengers at the start, as far as I can see, though the top outside deck fills up, as the day progresses.

The route on offer is Koblenz to St Goar and back, with stops at St Goar and Boppard. It’s overcast, but not raining, so I at least get to see the Rhine Gorge and the Lorelei Rock, even if they aren't displayed in their full magnificence.

First up is the Koblenz Brewery (which looks like a castle), followed by Stolzenfels Castle (once a medieval castle rebuilt as a nineteenth century Gothic palace) on one side and Lahnstein Castle (medieval but heavily restored) on the other.

A glut of castles. Germany has more castles than any other country in the world. (Over 25,000 but no-one knows the exact number.) Marksburg lording it from the top of one peak is the only genuinely original medieval castle on the middle Rhine and thus is deemed to be the most suitable home for the German Castles Organisation. Others of note are the so called Hostile Brothers, two adjacent castles south of Boppard. And a little further on Cat Castle, close by Mouse Castle. They should have called them Tom and Jerry.

South into the celebrated Rhine Bend, the slopes of the limestone hills lengthen to vertical crags. Neat villages, whitewashed houses, helmed churches, to the east, vines to the west. It deserves its reputation as a must-see.

The Lorelei Rock

I've been advised to disembark at St Goar, which is where the boat turns round. There is more to see there than at St Goarhausen on the opposite bank, I'm told. And it has the biggest castle on the Rhine. But I’ve had a sufficiency of castles; Goarhausen offers access to the Lorelei and that's on my bucket list. So I'm disobedient, get off here and march along the riverbank, to the famous statue. This is Germany's equivalent of The Little Mermaid, except that this slightly more malevolent person enticed sailors onto the rocks. The statue of the maiden is on a rock promontory, at the end of an extremely uneven path. The rock itself - the story goes that the siren threw herself off this - is a little further upriver. It's the narrowest part of the gorge. Making my way back along the riverbank I wander into Goarhausen's tiny deserted old town. Unexpected and rewarding. I'm very happy with my choice.

Boppard on the Rhine

A stop at Boppard for a couple of hours. Another extraordinary double steeple church. More gorgeous town houses. And a huge cutlet, with mashed potatoes, in an inn, by the river. This is another country to get fat in. Schnitzel, kartoffelsalat (potato salad), apfelstrudel, kasekuchen (cheesecake). Ice cream parlours proliferate and schlagsahne (whipped cream) with everything. The fast food of choice is curry wurst with chips. There’s a booth on every corner.

Train to Cologne

I’ve opted for the train from Koblenz to Cologne, as I’ve read that it’s a very scenic journey. And I’ve duly selected a seat on the right as instructed, as I’m told the train runs along the left bank of the Rhine. Except that there are works on the line and the train has been re-routed, often through industrial, warehouse ridden hinterland and the few bits of river that I do glimpse are on the left hand side. The train is full, so I can’t move. There are only two toilets aboard and they’re both out of order, so I’m relieved, literally when we arrive. It’s just like being at home.

Cologne

Cologne isn't the prettiest city that I’ve visited. The main land mark is the cathedral. It’s immense, towers over the city and is the first building I see as we arrive at the Hauptbahnhof. I’m not a great fan of the restoration of historical buildings, but this one is in dire need of restoration. It’s filthy and badly eroded. And restoration is indeed underway. The entire building is shrouded in scaffolding. There is even an array of turrets that have been removed for repair, standing on the floor. It must be a mammoth undertaking.

The city hall is also being restored. It stands on the edge of the Altstadt. This is signposted, but is smaller than the old towns in most of the Rhine villages. There are a couple of large squares, more churches and some new houses, mixed in with the older ones, built in roughly the same style. Along the river are walkways with museums housed in brutalist style architecture - it’s a smaller version of the South Bank in London.

Otherwise there are a plethora of mid to low price bars restaurants and shops. As with much of Germany there is plenty of English integrated into the general signage' as well as the announcements. ‘Sandwiches, speed dating, ticket controller, pub, teenagers and shopping.........

Prague next.

Or read more about Germany here.

Train to Munich

I’ve had a hankering to return to Munich, ever since my ex-husband Don, missed the autobahn turn off, on our first jaunt through Germany and refused to turn round. He said there was too much traffic. Getting there today from Liechtenstein isn’t going to be easy. Munich from Vaduz and then back down to Andorra before returning, eventually, to Germany isn’t the most obvious routing, but my hotel in Munich is non refundable, so I’m fitting things round those dates. Austria won’t allow the English in at the moment (thanks Boris) so I can’t take the obvious connections, through Kufstein or Innsbruck, and I’m having to travel via Zurich and Stuttgart instead. There’s a bus from Zurich that I was considering, but I discovered that this clips the corner of Austria too, by Lake Konstanz and I don’t want to risk being thrown into quarantine for two weeks.

At Zurich there is a large sign saying ‘Zurich to München in 3.5 hours. In 2021. It’s going to take me just under six hours  from here. And we’re travelling at over 200 kilometres an hour for much of the time. But it’s much more comfortable travelling on trains that are half empty. I can swap seats when the train unexpectedly swaps direction, shunting out of a station.

Through pretty spruce covered hills, villages of steep roofed houses with onion domed churches and an intermittent 4G signal. North, towards Stuttgart the land flattens out. Stuttgart is very different from my experiences so far. The station is packed with people crammed sardine-like onto the platforms. They have Rauchen areas where the smokers puff away, masks discarded. The station is scruffy and the train is nine minutes late departing.

Out of Stuttgart it's terraced vines, castles with pointy turrets and a variety of churches in an assortment of colours, all with intricately decorated towers. For a few minutes we follow the Danube as it traverses Germany from its source in the southwest of the country.

The Sights of Munich

Munich is delightfully kitsch. There are astonishing towers and turrets and crenellations on every square. It's like wandering in Disneyland, except that  I should really say that the other way round.

I'm following a self guided tour which takes me under a cream arched and crenellated gate and into the Altstadt - old town.

It’s not a great start- the first two items on the list, the St Michael's Church and the famous double towered cathedral, the Frauenkirche, are both under renovation and surrounded by cranes and barricades.  But the sun has come out and the several churches, fountain and intricate tracery on the town hall in the nearby Marienplatz are shown off to their best advantage. There’s an ornate glockenspiel on the facade of the Town Hall (Rathaus) and revolving figures appear and play it three times a day.

There are countless huge halls of varying kinds. Museums, old palaces (the Residenz complex is enormous), memorials, theatres and the beer halls of course. Munich is world renowned for its Oktoberfest, the world’s biggest folk (read beer) festival. Despite its name, Oktoberfest actually starts in the last week of September and officially dates back to 1810, when Crown Prince Ludwig threw a party to celebrate his wedding to Princess Terese on October 12. There are also long streets of shops with some very swish department stores. Much the best place to go to the toilet.

The Englischer Garten

The English Garden is a large, very pleasant  area with some tree filled meadow (think Bushy Park), small hills bearing neoclassical follies, a Japanese tea house, a Chinese pagoda and (yes you're reading right), a channel with a wave machine. Crowds gather here to watch the surf dudes, who do well if they stand up for longer than five seconds – it’s a ferocious current.

Lunch is potato salad with enormous beef ribs in the park Biergarten. When in Munich..... Though I'm abstaining from the huge foaming steins of lager. And  I have to scan in using my phone at the restaurant and fill in a form with my contact details.

The park and the beer garden are thronging – more people even than in the town. It’s Saturday, and I think the locals are out in force. So, I have to be careful where I’m walking - I’m not used to this, or to trying to avoid people in the wrong place in my photos. But the biggest menace are the bicycles. Munich is full of them: tricycles, groups of folk on tours, hire bikes and parents pushing their children along in attached to the front cars. There are bicycle lanes alongside some of the roads, but no-one pays much heed to those and they weave all over the park paths, cutting swiftly and scarily around the pedestrians.

Munich is big on its music and there are numerous accordion players with their begging bowls. Though sadly no oompah band playing in the Englischer Garten. Maybe it's because of Covid, but there are plenty of people around, many more than I have seen anywhere else so far. Maybe half do not wear masks, except in the shops where it is compulsory. There’s a street stall on the Marienplatz selling patterned face coverings. I've bought one decorated with glittery diamante.

German people I chat to seem surprised I'm allowed here; I hope I'm correct in thinking I am. Individual states make their own decisions.

My Hotel in Munich

I've been upgraded again. The hotel I was going to stay at isn’t open yet. Not enough clientele so now I'm in the sister hotel the Marc Munich just up the road. It's very convenient for the station and it's in a North African / Arab quarter with kebab stands, hookah bars gold shops and African barbers. Just like the Edgware Road in London.

The hotel seems very new.  It markets itself as trendy - I would just say modern and stylish rather than innovative. The room is just big enough but not everything works. The air conditioning for example does nothing. Maybe it hasn’t been turned on yet.

Bavarian Palaces and Mad King Ludwig

A bus tour today. There are three contact details forms to fill in on the bus, one for the bus company and one for each palace I’m visiting. And every alternate seat is blocked off, as well as two rows at the front.

Neuschwanstein Castle has long been on my bucket list, so I'm off to see this as well as  another of mad King Ludwig’s creations. Except that, according to our guide, Ludwig has been cruelly mislabelled. This King of Bavaria  was officially diagnosed as mentally ill towards the end of his nineteenth century reign, but it is now thought that he was simply eccentric and creative, unusually so for his time. The psychiatrist who wrote the damning report  had never met him.

 Ludwig also refused to marry and broke off an engagement although he was pressed to marry. No wonder he retreated from reality. Even his death at a relatively early age is surrounded in mystery. He drowned along  with his doctor, despite being a very good swimmer, the day after he had been certified as insane.

Linderhof Palace

Ludwig was obsessed with Louis XIV, the Sun King and modelled Linderhof Palace after Versailles. Linderhof is tiny ( for a palace), but is the only one of Ludwig’s palaces that he properly inhabited. Its rooms are lavishly decorated and gilded, the walls almost entirely covered with winding curlicues, the ceilings with painted  nymphs and gods. Nooks and pedestals filled with Meissen and Sevres china.  There’s even a (small) Hall of  Mirrors.

The tour is carried out at a gallop, as groups of no more than ten are allowed and we all have to stand on carefully placed spots on the carpets.

Oberammergau

With the beautiful backdrop of the Bavarian Alps, cattle grazing on emerald pasture framed by for covered peaks, Oberammergau is the stereotypical alpine village, though perhaps more immaculate and with more cafes,  restaurants and wood carvers’ shops than most. The gasthauser are so neat and beautifully presented that you almost feel compelled to enter. The timber chalets have scarlet geranium filled window boxes and many of the walls bear elaborate frescoes. Some are religious of course, in this village of Passion Play fame. Others have scenes from Grimm’s  Fairy stories: Hansel and Gretel and Little Red Riding Hood painted on the walls. Highly appropriate for this fairy tale land.

Local dress is also traditional. Many of the women wear the dirndl skirts. Our guide says that all the Bavarian women have one at home, for festivals.

The semi open air theatre - it's now got a Wembley stadium type roof, stands at the end of the village.  You can only take part in the play, which is performed every ten years (postponed to 2022 this year  because of Corona virus) if you have lived here for 20 years..

Neuschwanstein Castle

A highlight of today has been the absolutely stunning alpine scenery and Ludwig put Neuschwanstein in the midst of possibly the best views up the mountain, looking across to the lakes and the Alpsee in particular and down to the village of Hohenschwangau, a resort spot with little beaches, on the lake. And yet another castle. You can wait 20 minutes for a shuttle bus that will take you up to view points and a ten minute downhill walk to the castle. Or you can walk up hill for 40 minutes with no views. It’s not really a contest.

There’s another queue, with a fifty minute waiting time if you want the picture postcard view from the Marienbrucke (Mary Bridge). And if you’re travelling solo don’t try and eat in the Hotel Muller restaurant. Despite me being head of the queue the waiter allowed six couples in ahead of me and then told me there were no free tables outside. He offered me the indoor dining room, which was not in use at that time – not set up and no-one in it.

Renowned for its lofty perch and turrets, Neuschwanstein is the castle that Disney used as the model for his Cinderella castle. Perhaps more importantly, it was inspired by Wagner's Parsifal. Ludwig was an admiring patron and friend of Wagner and the relationship resulted in an increased inclination towards romanticism and an amplification of his tendency to identify with medieval heroes. (Wagner however was ejected from Bavaria by the ruling council, the same people who had Ludwig certified -and possibly murdered - it was a constitutional monarchy).

As our guide points out - we are very privileged to tour the castle in groups of ten. It's usually 60. We're also lucky to have tickets. It's booked out for the entire summer.

The style is very different to Linderhof. Here, the rooms are modelled after medieval halls and chapels with  vaulted ceilings and huge crown chandeliers. Several of the rooms are themed around Wagner operas Lohengrin (hence the many swans - Neuschwanstein means New Swan on the Rock), Tristan and Isolde, Tannhauser and Parsifal of course.

Sadly, there are awful traffic jams on the autobahn as we return to Munich. The whole city seems to have travelled south for the day.

Tomorrow, I set off for Andorra.

Or read more about Germany here.

What is the History of Germany?

• The concept of Germany, as a distinct region, originates with Julius Caesar, who called the unconquered area east of the Rhine Germania, to distinguish it from Gaul (France).
• In 962, Otto I became the first Holy Roman Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, the medieval German state.
• In the Late Middle Ages, the regional dukes, princes, and bishops gained power at the expense of the emperors. After Martin Luther led the Protestant Reformation in 1517, the northern states became Protestant, while the southern states remained Catholi leading to the Thirty Years' War (1618–1648), and tremendous destruction; more than 1/4 of the population and 1/2 of the male population in the German states were killed.
• 1648 marked the effective end of the Holy Roman Empire and the beginning of the modern nation-state system, with Germany divided into numerous small kingdoms, duchies and principalities , such as Prussia, Bavaria, Saxony, Austria and other states, which also controlled land outside of the area considered "Germany".

• After the French Revolution and the Napoleonic Wars from 1803–1815,. Prussia, with its capital Berlin, grew in power under the leadership of the Chancellor Otto von Bismarck leading to the formation of the German Empire unifiying the various states as the German Reich (or realm) in 1871.
• By 1900, Germany was already the dominant power on the European continent and led the Central Powers in World War I (1914–1918) against France, Great Britain, Russia and (by 1917) the United States. Defeated and partly occupied, Germany was forced to pay war reparations by the Treaty of Versailles and was stripped of its colonies as well as of home territory to be ceded to Belgium, France, and Poland, and was banned from uniting with German-settled regions of Austria.
• The German Revolution of 1918–19 put an end to the federal constitutional monarchy and resulted in the establishment of the Weimar Republic, the Third Reich an unstable parliamentary democracy.
• In the early 1930s, the worldwide Great Depression hit Germany hard, as unemployment soared and people lost confidence in the government. In January 1933, Adolf Hitler was appointed Chancellor of Germany. His Nazi Party quickly established a totalitarian regime, eventually annexing Austria, invading the German-speaking regions of Czechoslovakia wand initiating World War II in Europe with the invasion of Poland

• After Germany lost the war, German territories were split up, Austria was again made a separate country, deNazification took place, and the Cold War resulted in the division of the country into democratic West Germany and communist East Germany, West Germany was rearmed in the 1950s under the auspices of NATO but without access to nuclear weapons. The Franco-German friendship became the basis for the political integration of Western Europe in the European Union.
• In 1989, the Berlin Wall was destroyed, the Soviet Union collapsed, and East Germany was runited with West Germany in 1990. Since reunification, there have been 16 länder or federal states: three city states – Berlin, Hamburg and Bremen – and 13 regions: Baden-Württemberg, Bavaria, Brandenburg, Hesse, Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania, Lower Saxony, North Rhine-Westphalia, Rhineland-Palatinate, Saarland, Saxony, Saxony-Anhalt, Schleswig-Holstein and Thuringia.

Facts and Factoids

• Germany was the first country in the world to adopt daylight saving time – DST, also known as summer time - in 1916, in the midst of WWI. It was an attempt to conserve energy.
• Prison escape is not punishable by law in Germany. German law maintains that it’s a basic human instinct to be free and therefore, prisoners have the right to escape jail. Escapes, however, rarely go unpunished, because prisoners are held liable if they cause damage to property or inflict bodily harm against any individual while breaking out.
• It’s illegal to run out of fuel on the German Autobahn. Although not forbidden, motorists are only allowed to stop on the legendary highways for emergencies. Having an empty fuel tank is not counted as an emergency.
• German law bans names that don’t denote a gender or use a family name as a first name. In 2014, the most popular children’s names were Sophie/Sofie for a girl and Maximilian for a boy.
• Fanta originated in Germany, as a result of the Second World War. Due to a trade embargo which prevented importing Coca-Cola syrup into Germany, the head of Coca-Cola in the country decided to create a domestic product for the market using available ‘leftover’ products like whey and apple pomace. It’s the second oldest brand of the Coca-Cola Company and the second most popular drink outside of the United States.
• College education in Germany is free, even for internationals. Tuition fees for bachelors' degrees in public universities were abolished in 2014. Politicians say that having to pay for higher education is ‘socially unjust’.

More Facts and Factoids - There's a Lot to Say About Germany

• Over 800 million currywurst - a sausage served with a spicy sauce - are eaten in Germany each year. There’s even a museum in Berlin dedicated to the popular snack.
• German is the language with the most native speakers in Europe. Besides Germany having the largest population in the EU, the German language was once the lingua franca of central, eastern and northern Europe.
• Germany’s capital centre has shifted seven times. These cities have all at one time or another been capitals of modern-day German territory: Aachen (during the Carolingian Empire), Regensburg, Frankfurt-am-Main, Nuremberg, Berlin, Weimar (unofficially, during unrest in Berlin), Bonn (and East Berlin), and, since 1990, Berlin again.
• Berlin’s Zoologischer (Tier) Garten is the largest zoo in the world
• The Germans are Europe’s second largest beer consumers, after the Czechs. There are more than 1,200 breweries producing over 5,000 brands of beer.
• Angela Merkel, who was Chancellor of Germany from 2005, was ranked as the world’s second most powerful person and the highest female ranking ever. In 2009, Mattel celebrated 50 years of Barbie, by producing an Angela Merkel Barbie doll.
• The Germans aren't the most humble of people. They refer to Germany as The Land of Poets and Thinkers. To back this up, Germany has more cultural centres than any other country. It had 6,200 museums, 820 theatres, 130 professional orchestras and 8,800 libraries in 2013. This explains all the philosophers, musicians and scientists. More people going to exhibitions than to soccer matches. I'll stick with their nickname rather than one of many others awarded last century.

Is Germany a Rich Country?

• By the end of the last century Germany was one of the economic powerhouses of Europe, contributing about one-quarter of the eurozone's annual gross domestic product.
• With a GDP of $3.5 trillion, Germany is the largest economy in Europe and one of the largest in the world. German small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs) account for around 52 percent of Germany’s entire economic output – these mittelstand (SMEs) employ some 14 million workers. And Germany is one of the world’s largest car producers – selling 6 million cars in 2015. VW’s Golf is one of the best selling cars of all time.
• Like other highly developed, service-oriented social market economies, Germany has one of the highest standards of living in the world

Is Germany in the EU?

• Germany was a founder member of the EU
• Germany is the fifth largest country in Europe, covering an area of 357,022 square kilometres; only Ukraine, France, Spain and Sweden are bigger.
• Germany is the EU’s largest economy – with a gross domestic product (GDP) of EUR 3.49 trillion and lies in fourth place in the world, behind the US, China and Japan.

What is There to See and Do in Germany?

My first big trip abroad -and travelling solo - was to Germany. I was 15, and I travelled on the ferry and train to stay with my pen pal in Annweiler am Trifels. The plan was to go with a school friend, but she went down with appendicitis and I journeyed alone. I was terrified, but I was very excited about making my first trip and so I carried on alone. I bought the wrong train ticket to Dover, but the guard didn’t say anything. A German guy carried my bag onto the boat and gave me some of his bottled beer - Lowenbrau. I didn’t like it much. I found my berth on the overnight sleeper and I was so nervous I cried. The people in the carriage were very kind.

The Trifels was pretty, green and hilly wine country. It was genteel living. (My pen pal’s father was the mayor.) I learned to drink herb tea (not to add milk) and eat kuchen. I went to school,was stared at and attended the end of term disco. We went to Mannheim Speyer and Baden Baden on day outings. I even spoke a little German.

Otherwise, Germany is a country with plenty to see and enjoy. Mountains, lakes, rivers, gorgeous scenery, quaint villages, castles galore and Disneyesque cities. I’ve motored through – quite a few times. The autobahns are good, mostly lined with forest and the drivers intolerant.

Don and I drove through Germany on our way to Austria and Yugoslavia (so long ago Yugoslavia was one country.) We camped overnight and visited cities en route. We went via Heidelberg (quaint medieval houses, herring and potato salad. Then Cologne and Koblenz for the meeting of the Rhine and Mosel at the Deutches Eck (corner). Past infamous Nuremberg. Don wouldn’t stop in Munich. The ring road was frenetic and we couldn’t work out the best place to turn off. No GPS in those days. I was working from the AA road atlas.

Tony and I drove to Austria to ski at Obergurgl. On the way back we hugged the banks of Lake Konstanz and sauntered through flower beds of spa town Baden Baden (musical fountains and Schwarzwaldertorte), before driving back through wine country close to Annweiler, my first port of call. (German wine tastes so much better chilled in those large green goblets on the banks of the Mosel).

See also:

• Berlin
• Munich and Bavaria
• The Rhinelands