Cape Town and an Aardvark Quest

I'm on my way to the very remote island of Saint Helena, in the Atlantic Ocean, but to get there I have to fly via Johannesburg. So, I'm taking the opportunity to revisit Cape Town, one of my favourite cities (read about that under Cape Town), and then to go on a very different type of safari, in the Karoo. My aim here is to find an aardvark. I've been desperate to see one ever since the near misses in Chad. (It's 'ard work looking for aardvarks.)

Cape Town to Bloemfontein

It’s a comfortable flight from Cape Town to Bloemfontein, on Airlink, the planet red and dry beneath me. It's thankfully a very efficient and welcoming airline. The same can’t be said for Budget Car Hire. I’ve filled in all my details and paid online, to be reassured I now have a quick pass and can pick up my keys and go. No-one seems to have informed the solitary young man on duty. He eventually tells me that his computer is down. This compounds the fact that he operates at the speed of a snail.

And then I discover that the excess on the insurance is the equivalent of £1300, so I ask him to take out more cover. That takes another ten minutes and I still haven’t a clue how much extra I’m being charged. I daren’t ask for more details, as the queue at the counter lengthens and the weary would-be drivers groan and roll their eyes.

The good news is that I have been rented an almost brand new Polo. Huzzah! No more Toyotas. And the phone pairs instantly too, so I have full screen GPS. It would do, as I remembered my dashboard mount this time.

Introduction to Bloemfontein

Bloemfontein (or Bloem), is right in the centre of South Africa. It's the capital and largest city of the Free State province, in South Africa. Bloem has traditionally been referred to as the country's third capital, the judicial capital, alongside the legislative capital Cape Town and administrative capital Pretoria. This is despite the fact that the highest court in South Africa, the Constitutional Court, has been in Johannesburg since 1994. Bloem is still home to the Supreme Court of Appeal.

Bloemfontein is 1,395 metres above sea level, on the southern edge of the Highveld. It is apparently popularly and aptly (Bloem means flower) known as 'The City of Roses', as these flowers are abundant and there's an annual rose festival held here.

Navigating Bloemfontein

Even more good news. It’s very straightforward driving around Bloem. The roads are very quiet (it’s Sunday I hope I’m not being lulled into a false sense of security). They’re also broad and leafy - it’s very rural all round the edges of the city. Very green, but I’m still looking for those flowers. Cows are wandering on the carriageway, as I leave the airport. That’s not the only obstacle. A man is standing right in the middle of the highway, waving a cardboard sign. I’m not sure if he’s after a lift, or work. I’m too busy trying not to hit him to read the message.

My car temperature gauge tells me it's 90 degrees Celsius. It’s very hot here, but I think that’s still unlikely. I’m assuming it’s got its temperature scales muddled up. I should also mention the fact that my car is white. So are nearly all the other cars in South Africa. I’ve had to learn the number plate quickly. The first time I parked it I couldn’t remember which one it was and had to wander round waving the remote key until one of the vehicles flashed at me.

La Belle Guesthouse

My B and B is delightful. Well the first B bit is. La Belle Guesthouse is built in a mock Dutch colonial style, with a swimming pool combined with fountain which beckons me over. The bed is mysteriously swaddled in several throws and a quilt. There’s even an electric blanket. It’s 30 degrees outside. I can only assume that sometimes it gets quite cold here.

But the other B is not provided. I can hardly complain. It's only £35 a night - things are astonishingly cheap here. And I’m not big on breakfast. But the restaurants and even shops are not that close in these verdant suburbs. I have to drive six miles, out of town, to find a restaurant which is open on a Sunday evening. Steak with plenty of add-ons for just £14.00.

Rather to my surprise, there’s a procession of dogs through the property, some on leads. I’m not sure what’s going on. I think only two are resident. They’re giant snow white poodles, who are rather too friendly. They gambol up to my sunbathing couch and slobber over me. Shortly afterwards the male returns to lick my toes and then try and crawl on top of me. He’s obviously very bored.

Exploring Bloemfontein

Hostess Melani tells me that I shouldn’t go into the centre of Bloemfontein. 'It’s not safe, you will get robbed'. That’s a little disconcerting. The internet tells me that it is safe IF I’m careful, that there is plenty of security. But there are also a lot of comments talking about safety in numbers and I’m only me - disadvantages of being a solo female traveller. So,I’m not going into the centre and the main museums. But there are several key sights around the edges, on my list. Melani says they’re fine and it’s easy to park.

The Naval Hill Planetarium

I head off to the Planetarium, on Naval Hill, in the Franklin Game Reserve. Naval Hill is a surprising soubriquet for a mound which overlooks a city in the centre of the country. But it’s named for the two naval guns which the British once kept here. Google has been relatively well behaved so far and the boulevards on a Monday are almost as quiet as on Sunday; there’s no-one else around on the hill at all. But I overrule my guide and follow the signage to the Planetarium. It’s a mistake, and I end up alongside an eight metre statue of Nelson Mandela. Admittedly that’s interesting. It’s the tallest one in the country and he’s looking out over the city (great view), to the church where he formed the ANC.

But I fear I’ve somehow driven into a pedestrian area, over some nasty looking car barricades. And I have to find a means of extricating myself. That accomplished, on a wing and a prayer( I don’t think the car has been damaged, thank God), I follow Google to the tinny domed Planetarium. But Google is back on form. It informs me that the Planetarium is open till 4.30, but that’s is not as busy as usual at the moment. That’s an understatement. It’s closed. And the only occupants of the car park are two scraggy female ostriches. An attendant pokes her head out of a hatch to tell me that it only opens on Saturdays.

So, I’m left with the wildlife. This is marked as a game reserve. Too scruffy to be a proper park and too orderly to be a proper reserve. I chug round the circuit, on top of the hill, watching for wildlife. But there’s nothing doing. The ostriches, a few antelope and a couple of distant giraffe are all gathered right by the Planetarium Car Park. I’m forbidden to tread on the actual veldt and only the ostriches are foolhardy enough to come close. But they can thunder away fast enough, when they want to.

Oliewenhuis Art Museum

Down the hill, to the Oliewenhuis Art Museum, an offshoot of the National Gallery. It’s a very worthwhile visit, a collection of mainly modern, thought provoking paintings and sculpture. Astonishing to think that wildlife roams two minutes drive away.
The gardens, a tranquil escape with a fountain and more 3D work. I’m heading for the terrace café, but I’m thwarted again. It’s closed on Mondays.

Middle Class South Africa

Time to join Middle Class South Africa. I head for Woolworths. The malls here are small, discreet affairs and as every South African will hurry to tell you Woolworths stores are the equivalent of Marks and Spencer in England. I would go so far as to say the café is better. Table service.

The food hall is equally glorious with tempting technicolour produce piled high and I have to remind myself I just need snacks. It’s roasting hot and anything else is going to perish very quickly in the car.

I should have bought got more than the snacks. Late afternoon finds me trundling what feels like way out of town again, through fields, to a recommended seafood restaurant. I’m skipping lunch and having early dinner, to try and avoid driving in the dark. Which I’ve been told to avoid.

But Clear Restaurant is laid out for a private function. They direct me to the Italian across the way and tell me I can order their food from there. So now I’m waiting to see if my seafood platter for one turns up. The sky is black and there is lightening. I’m going to be driving back to base in the dark anyway.

Heading for the Karoo

There are a couple of reserves, in South Africa, where, I've read, there is a very strong chance of seeing the elusive aardvarks (and indeed, the rest of The Shy Five). However, they are extraordinarily expensive. I've been recommended Khoisan Karoo Private Nature Reserve as an alternative. It seems to be much more reasonably priced. I hope so. I've been booked in for Shy Five and Birding Safaris.

Driving in South Africa

I’m very apprehensive about driving out of town, in the heart of South Africa. The story of Africa’s inherent violence persists and I’ve been warned to keep windows shut. All valuables out of sight and to watch out for the truck drivers - ‘Stay in the inside lane’. But at least I reassure myself, I have driven in South Africa before and survived.

Google maintains its reputation for perversity and takes me through the centre of Bloemfontein , to reach the N1 Highway. It’s not too frightening – just a whole line of robots (traffic lights) and people walking in the road, by the kerb. I’m sure round the edge would have been quicker.

The N1 is the national highway of Africa, Cape Town to Cairo. The signs tell me I’m already exactly 1000 kilometres from Cape Town. Its two lanes fairly soon meld into one. It’s not the truck drivers who are the problem, chuntering along in their double trailer pantechnicons, it’s the fact that they’re limited to 80 kilometres per hour. The road limit for cars is 120 kph. And none of the car drivers is very happy to be held up by the queues of trucks.

Overtaking is a little fraught. I can see why this is one of the worst accident back spots in South Africa. Double white lines in the centre of the carriageway are an added incentive to overtake, it appears. The drivers are not above overtaking someone who is already overtaking either. It all adds to the excitement. Time passes very slowly. It literally goes backwards as Google tacks on minutes, as it realises it has underestimated the challenges I am facing. South through The Free State and across The Orange River into North Cape Province.

The scenery is blue green veldt, interspersed with yellow stone flecked mesas and kopjes adorned with bobble shaped bushes. It’s pretty but doesn’t change much. It just gets slightly browner. Grazing sheep alternate with cattle. And there is nowhere to stop for a toilet. Just one on road filling station at Coleberg, over two thirds of the way there. Otherwise, nothing, just a few laybys with trees and benches. But no buildings. What do folk do? I eventually head off the highway to a town. There’s a small hotel on the outskirts. I scoot in, a guy says, 'Morning ma’am', and I hop into the washroom. It’s all a little seedy, like a wild west joint. When I emerge there’s no-one around, so I just disappear again quickly. I don’t think it’s a good idea to have a drink. I may not find another stop.

Four hours later ( Google said three and a quarter), I’ve arrived and am chuntering up a gravel track. Steenbok prance ahead of me, the other side of the fence. Well that wasn’t too bad.

The Karoo

'The Karoo?' you ask. Well, The Karoo is fairly well known as a semi-desert region of South Africa, but no-one can provide an exact definition of what or where it is. I've managed to glean that it has low rainfall, arid air, cloudless skies, and typical desert extremes of heat and cold. Historically, it formed an almost impenetrable barrier for explorers trying to get to the interior, from Cape Town. The Karoo is divided into the Great Karoo and the Klein Karoo, to the south.

The vegetation is limited to plants which have adapted to arid climates (known as xerophytic): aloes, mesembryanthemums, crassulas, euphorbias, stapelias, and desert ephemerals, with grasslands in the east. The latter supports the large game herds. The Karoo is also a good hunting ground for fossils; it hosted a well-preserved ecosystem hundreds of million years ago.

Khoisan Karoo Private Nature Reserve

My accommodation at Khoisan Karoo Reserve, is in New Holme, 'Where angels rest under tall trees'. Marisca, PC (after General Piet Cronje) and their four daughters are the owners and managers. And it’s tranquil and lovely here. PC and Marisca are extraordinarily welcoming and I can see the river from my vine clad cottage. Brightly coloured birds, a veritable pick'n'mix assortment, are hopping around the grounds.

Here. they offer the possibility of The Karoo Shy Five - aardwolf, aardvark, black-footed cat (very rare and substituting here for the meerkat, though I’m not sure why as meerkats are apparently available), porcupine and bat-eared fox, as well as Cape fox, African wildcat, striped polecat, African striped weasel, both small and large spotted genet, honey badger and plenty more.

PC had also introduced hippos, but he explains that he’s sadly now down to just one. The main bull was killing all the babies, so they had to dispose of him. When the last female died, they imported another one and then she died almost immediately after arriving. They’re saving up for another one. Rhinos are on the agenda too; PC has the permits. Now he’s waiting for the opportunity. There are also merino sheep and cattle - this is a mixed agricultural farm. I drive in past a pen of lambs and calves - the woolly babies bleating hopefully. They’re orphans or problem feeders being bottle fed in safety. The bottles are repurposed vodka and beer containers and the lambs headbutt each other and anyone or anything in their way, to get their mouths round the teats.

The reserve has an airstrip and it's a regular stoppling off point for small plane pilots, on their way across country.

The food is amazing. I had expected basic country fare, but I’m being served up gourmet cuisine, beautifully presented. Salads, pastries, eland, lamb chops, cute bowls of spicy vegetables and a sublime malva pudding. For some reason they’re also making cheese and tomato toasties on a roaring open fire and one of those is deposited on my table half way through my first meal. I’m not complaining, but it is a big mistake to eat it. I can hardly walk afterwards.

In Search of the Shy Five

The Shy Five are virtually nocturnal, so it’s three night safaris, in one of the safari trucks.. The first and third are relatively tame nights. I’m in luck on each occasion, as the usually elusive aardvark are spotted fairly swiftly. However, they wandering away and are not in the mood for posing. Spring hares bounce around, boing boing, their green eyes easy to spot in PC's powerful torchlight; they’re not actually hares, but rodents, with bodies like a small kangaroo. They're hard to photograph without blurring. Baby boks blink and leap away. Proper hares lollop along, ears waggling.

It's breezy and balmy. Twice, a stripy aardwolf (an insect eating mammal of the hyena family) sneaks across our eyeline, vanishing swiftly into the distance. Two frustratingly far distant sightings of bat eared fox also. Gone almost before we can swivel our eyes, tail bobbing. A genet, also a dark blob on the horizon. Porcupines are more cooperative. At one point, a large male stops right in front of us.

Aardvark Alert

The middle day brings the anniversary of my birth and appropriate rewards. This time an aardvark, after some deliberation, crosses the track, wandering peacefully along. Aardvarks aren't rare. They are found over much of the southern two-thirds of the African continent. But they are incredibly hard to spot (as I've said before 'aardvarks are 'ard work'), because they are nocturnal feeders, subsisting on ants and termites. This is where their sharp spade like claws and powerful legs come in handy, to dig the insects out of their hills. Aardvarks also shovel to create burrows in which to live and rear their young. An amazing opportunity to observe the long quivering ears, oddly pinkish arched body, sparsely covered in hair and tapered snout. This is why they invented the phrase 'weird and wonderful'.

The Khoisan Karoo Story

The reserve is quiet now. And I’m the only punter on the daytime drives. Endless grassland and huge cloud spotted skies. Turner would have been jealous. We’re ostensibly bird spotting, but I know little about birds and our ornithology is punctuated by PC's back story.

First the birds, many of which are gaudily eye catching. Tiny yellow canaries and red and black bishops. Spoonbill and sacred ibis strut round the wetland areas. Swallows have made it here from England, and small brown fowl: ruffs and others, have flown all the way from Siberia. Migration is astonishing.

PC's tale is no less engaging. This is a family farm passed on by his father and expanded through rough times and smooth as the economics of agriculture fluctuate. His ancestors were Portuguese colonists. The land here was once the domain of the San peoples, who were shot, along with the hippos, if they weren’t actually driven off their land. Today, they live in the towns with little means of making a living. PC's family bought the land from the original pioneering owners. He has turned it into a nature reserve around the river and is determined to persuade other farms to join in, creating one huge Karoo Reserve. This would be designed to employ locals with skills training and preserve the land. These are huge projects, but so admirably worthwhile.

Compare the Meerkat

I’ve accomplished four out of the original Shy Five. And a 5.30 alarm on the third morning brings rich rewards in the form of Number Five: meerkats. Also weird and wonderful and impossibly cute. The tall lanky patriarch of the mob (amazing collective noun) stands guard, whilst his family alternately sun themselves or forage around in the soil, by the burrows. He’s solemn and concentrating hard, while she is industrious and the little ones, naughty children, scavenging, playing and burrowing. Their heads pivot constantly from side to side almost in unison and I find I’m imagining them with clothes on. ComparetheMarket.com has it spot on. They steal the Shy Five Show. Then they disappear. Their 30 minutes of daily fun is over.

In the Steps of David Attenborough

Day Three also brings adventure, as some of the game are being moved - great excitement. This involves a helicopter and a vet firing tranquilliser darts, from a gun. I’m allowed to tag along, in the front seat of the helicopter. The doors have been removed for easy firing. We swoop along, close to the ground and up and down the river, a bird's eye view of the dams, the vegetation here emerald against the grey blue speckled veldt.

The roan antelope we are seeking has gone to ground. There’s concern he’s wandered onto a neighbour's land and this particular individual has a propensity to shoot (and keep the meat). Three circuits of the river and the roan is not to be found. So we turn our attention to a saddleback blesbok, who has joined up with some recalcitrant individuals. He is to be placed with a small herd of eight or so females. He’s fairly easily tracked down and presents a straight running target for the vet’s shot. He crumples and is transported off to meet his new harem.

The third specimen is a black impala. A similar delight is planned to that of the blesbok, but the impala is to be taken to Milliefontein, 20 minutes drive further away. The impala is spotted without difficulty, but is determined to turn this into an epic hunt. He weaves in and out, two startled warthogs thundering along gulleys in front of him. Alongside fences, under bushes. He utilises every trick in the book, as the helicopter dives and zig zags in pursuit, before a dart finally secures his literal down fall. I’m terrified and exhilarated all at the same time.

Milliefontein

Once back on land, we trundle the impala over to PC's ancestral home, in a horse box. He’s released in to an enclosure thankfully still alive, but staggering out, somewhat astonished. It's a 'What the Fuck?' moment. He trots off, away from the herd he has yet to encounter. PC is happy about that. The impala can drink and recover his strength before he has to face the resident young ram. A small herd of male Cape buffalo arrive, keen to see what’s happening and in the hope of extra rations. They’re being reared as potential stud bulls. Their horns have to grow to 45 cm width before they can even be considered.

PC's childhood home has an amazing garden. Roses, fountains, arbours, lawns, islands and topiary. Again, astonishing in this arid landscape.

Farewell to Khoisan Karoo

Sundowners finish the days. Either on top of the little grey flat topped kopje, with views across to the meandering river, or on the reed lined jetty, by the hippo pool. On cue, he pops up to see what’s going on, great mouth yawning and a gentle grunt.

This place is magical. A surprise round every corner. But all good things come to an end. I pay my bill. An astonishingly reasonable £235 for all of that. I’ve told them it’s too cheap – after I had paid my bill.

Johannesburg and Onwards

Now I have to face the N1 again. It’s less daunting this time. Perhaps I’ve got accustomed to it. Time flies past. Even though Google tries to liven things up by disappearing my map every five minutes. And then directing me through litter strewn townships, roads riddled with potholes, on my return to Bloem Airport.

Johannesburg Airport, after a very bumpy 40 minute flight, round a thunderstorm, and then I'm off to St Helena.

(And read more about South Africa here.)

South Africa

South Africa is the southernmost country on the mainland of the Old World, About 80% of the population are Black South Africans. The remainder consists of Africa's largest communities of European (White South Africans), Asian (Indian South Africans and Chinese South Africans), and multiracial (Coloured South Africans) ancestry. There are 11 official languages. Hence the nickname, 'The Rainbow Nation'. These include English, Afrikaans and nine African languages. Afrikaans, spoken by six million, is a mixture of Dutch, German, French and English.

A Very Short History of South Africa

Some of the oldest hominid fossils, in the world have been found in South Africa - its history of settlement dates back at least three million years. Bantu-speaking peoples were present by the fourth or fifth century BC. Portuguese sailors were the first Europeans to frequent the region, but the Dutch were the first colonists, establishing a port and supply base at the Cape of Good Hope in the 1600s. The Dutch colonists (known as the Boers) expanded their land holdings and introduced slavery, despite considerable resistance from the local population.

Then, after a tussle that lasted several years the British eventually captured this Cape Colony in 1806, and they too began to expand. Unsurprisingly, the Boers weren't happy, especially when the British abolished slavery. They moved north, in a mass migration called The Great Trek and established two new republics: Orange Free State, and Transvaal. This involved more bloodshed - they had to defeat the Zulus in battle to do so.

The British too were involved in battles against the Zulus, as they extended their boundaries. However, they were content to leave the Boers alone, until gold and diamonds were discovered in the later 1800s. At that point. Lesotho and Swaziland became protectorates and British settlers (Uitlanders, as the Boers called them) moved into the Transvaal Republic. Cecil Rhodes, South African prime minister, at the time, then engineered an uprising there - the Jameson Raid. It failed, and eventually triggered the Boer Wars between the British and the Dutch settlers. The war became ugly, the British (under Kitchener) resorted to concentration camps, and the Boers finally surrendered in 1902. In 1910 the Union of South Africa was born.

The Union of South Africa

Discrimination against the Black African peoples was rife from the start, with zoning laws prohibiting ownership of land in some areas and forbidding voting. In 1948, these laws were exacerbated by the introduction of apartheid. Resistance movements grew, were subdued and simmered. In 1961 South Africa became a republic and the uneasy situation continued. In 1978 P W Botha became prime minister, attempting to strengthen apartheid and imprisoning resistance leaders such as Nelson Mandela.

However, foreign disapproval was growing. Other countries were increasingly imposing economic sanctions on South Africa and inside the country resistance grew stronger. Botha was forced from office and replaced by Willem de Klerk, who in 1990 pledged to end apartheid. The first democratic elections were held in 1994, when Nelson Mandela was elected president. He retired in 1999.

Facts and Factoids

• South Africa is the only country in the world to have hosted the Soccer, Cricket and Rugby World Cups.
• South Africa is extremely rich in minerals and has nearly 90% of all the platinum metals on earth and around 41% of all the world’s gold
• The South African Rovos Rail is considered the most luxurious train in the world.
• South Africa shares its national anthem with Tanzania and Zimbabwe
• South Africa is unique in having three capital cities: Pretoria (executive), Bloemfontein (judicial) and Cape Town (legislative). The largest city, however, is Johannesburg.

What to See in South Africa?

South Africa is renowned for its gorgeous scenery It is also a natural world hotspot, with unique biomes, plant and animal life. I've been four times, mainly visiting:

• Cape Town, The Mother City, and the South Coast
• Kruger Park On Safari
• Rare Mammals - the Shy Five - in the Karoo

Johannesburg (or not)

I'm on a jeep trip with an 'adventure tour company', travelling from Johannesburg to Kruger Park and then Mozambique. Flying into Johannesburg, the largest city in South Africa. In fact, it is one of the largest urban areas in the world - a megacity. Jo'burg is not one of the three capitals of South Africa, but it is known as The Gold City . It literally was founded on gold, discovered on the Witwatersrand in 1886. It has expanded to include neighbouring cities, such as Soweto, the black township famous for the riots during apartheid and the home of Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela.

Poverty is still rife and Johannesburg has a reputation for very high crime levels. The violence is rarely in the tourist areas, but we are still warned not to go into the city. Instead, we are put up in a cute little B & B on the outskirts. It is just up the road from Gold Reef City and the casino - the main entertainment on offer here. And I did get to see the city, a very time ago, when I visited and went down a gold mine. (It was a long drop).

The Panorama Route

From Jo'burg we pick up The Panorama Region - waterfalls, caves, forests, the Sabie River Gorge and the majestic Blyde River Canyon. It is up to 800 metres deep, carved out of nearly 26 (or 50 depending on who you believe) kilometres red sandstone and dolomite. It was formed over aeons of time, after the ancient super continent, Gondwanaland, split in two and Madagascar and Antarctica broke free from Africa some 200 million years ago. The weight of the surrounding shallow sea tilted it upwards to form the Drakensberg Mountains. The sediments were built up around them in what was then the sea.

Again, depending on which list you use it’s possibly the third largest canyon in the world. Whatever, it’s breath-taking. As usual various landmarks have been given names that are occasionally appropriate. One group of rounded peaks are aptly named The Three Rondavels or The Chief and His Three Wives. Close to the Rondavels on the Drakensberg escarpment is a viewpoint, 700 metres up. This one is called God's Window. Next up, the Bourke's Luck Potholes. These almost perfect circles look as if they have been punched out of the rock to serve as whirlpools.

There's also a 'Crazy Bungee Jump'. The sign says No Refunds.

Kruger National Park - Sabi Sands

Kruger National Park It’s August and the dry winter season, so the park is parched, brown and arid. I’ve been told it’s a good time to visit, as you can see the animals more easily. This region of Africa has some of the highest concentrations of wildlife on the continent, although it’s a huge park, with several large rivers. Kruger is bounded by the (great grey green greasy ) Limpopo River (to the north) and the Crocodile River. There are plenty of watery vistas to enjoy and to support the wildlife.

We start off camping by the Sabie (or Sand) River. I've already been on the Olifants River in Western Cape. This flows through the park. It eventually catches up with the Limpopo, to form a tributary and here we're camping by the scenic Letaba, which is also a tributary of the Olifants.

We bag four of the Big Five: lion, elephant (plenty of these), Cape buffalo and leopard. I’m very happy with this. I’ve seen rhino several times before but leopard is more elusive. There’s a bit of dispute as to whether it is indeed leopard hiding at some distance in the grass, but the markings on the photographs prove the case. There’s also cheetah (and a very cute cub, with a furry ruff), hippo and abundant plains antelopes, (nyala, bush buck, impala) small-spotted genet, giraffe, zebra, wildebeest and baboons. My favourite bird is the lilac breasted roller.

It’s not the best organised tour I’ve ever been on. Our park accommodation is basic, with a shared toilet block and showers (tiny mongooses skittering around) and there's also some camping involved (!) The tour leader, a Jo’burg man is a little gung ho. But our driver is a nice guy and he’s good at spotting the wildlife.

Onwards to Mozambique. I’ve pleaded for a diversion via Swaziland, but Gung Ho is not going to let it happen.

(And read more about South Africa here.)

The Orange River

I've travelled from Zimbabwe to South Africa in a truck on one of the great classic overland routes: Victoria Falls to Cape Town, through Botswana and Namibia in a truck. There are 12 passengers. We have crossed the border from Namibia at the Orange River, singing Jonny Clegg’s’ Great Heart’ as we go. The river was named in honour of the Dutch ruling family, the House of Orange, by the Dutch explorer Robert Jacob Gordon. And here, we have a canoeing expedition. The others get kitted up and splash frenetically. I plead a bad back and am excused active duty. I am paddled along serenely, like the Queen of Sheba. The sunsets here are as blood red as the Namibian dunes.

Olifants River Valley

So, here I am finally back in South Africa, after a brief trip to Johannesburg and Pretoria, the first time I visited Zimbabwe. My next night is spent at Olifants River Valley, after a long day on the road, in the mountains of Western Cape. The Olifant (elephant) is a tributary of the (great, grey, green greasy) Limpopo River. It's gentle and green and very relaxing. This is where all those oranges and lemons come from. And of course, one area is named Citrusdal. There're also honey, rooibos tea and wineries.

Cape Town, South Africa

Wonderful Cape Town, tourist mecca, one of the three capital cities of South Africa. This is the seat of the Parliament of South Africa, the legislative capital of the country, the oldest city in the country, and the second largest (after Johannesburg). It's known as the Mother City,as the harbour area is where Cape Town first began life, as the main refuelling watering post for ships on the way to the east. In the late twentieth century it was relaunched as the Victoria and Alfred Waterfront, named for Victoria’s son, rather than her husband. It’s a buzzing retail and leisure area stuffed with cafes and restaurants.

Glorious weather, fantastic restaurants and bars, (ostrich,  thick tenderloin steaks, sea food and so on) very cheap, laid back, amazing beaches, mountains, vineyards; it’s one of the great cosmopolitan cities. The must see is the iconic giant mesa that is Table Mountain, although you can’t really miss it, as it provides the backdrop, protecting the Mother City. It's one of the oldest mountains in the world. Strangely, photos don’t do it justice.

Before the Truckies depart, we take the cable cars to the mountain’s flat top, for 360 degree views of the city, the numerous gorgeous beaches, the busy harbour and Robben Island, the infamous prison that once held Nelson Mandela. There's a Lion's Head formation, to one side and then, to the other, the range of ravines, peaks and gorges that is dubbed the Twelve Apostles. (There are, arguably, 18 peaks). These create the stunning backdrop to the city. There is an option to abseil down, but I think not. Instead, we take the spectacular coastal road alongside the mountains, from Chapman's Peak to Hout Bay.

Of the stunning sandy stretches the Clifton Beaches in Camps Bay are arguably the loveliest. Beautiful with their exquisite rock formations. But crowded with freezing cold Atlantic water. Well, ten degrees.

Cape Peninsula

As if the magic city itself isn’t enough, the Cape Peninsula offers a host of attractions. Past the brightly painted facades of the bathing boxes of Muizenberg (excellent fish and chips in the Ocean Basket) and St James. The black and white  Boulders Beach, at Simonstown, on closer inspection, is white sand, jam-packed with penguins, waddling and turning somersaults in the water. (It has seen developments and the African penguin colony here is now in the care of the national parks so you have to pay to go in. Or take the boardwalk for a distant view and peer at the recalcitrant birds hiding in the scrub. They have artificial plastic nest boxes. The turquoise water and smooth rocks are gorgeous.

South to the Cape of Good Hope, which sadly, is not the southernmost tip of Africa after all. Antelope are grazing peacefully on the slopes of the Cape Reserve here. Rock hyrax scamper away. We canter past an ostrich farm. Rugged terrain takes us on to Cape Point and the lighthouse. There are some stunning views from up here, but that's not the African extremity either. That honour belongs to Cape Agulhas, approximately 93 miles east-southeast.

Back via Noordhoek, yet another spectacular beach.

Cape Town Without the Truckies

The Truckies leave, but I’m not yet alone. I have a great little hotel on the beach at Bantry Bay and a hire car. I eat kingfish and chips by the waterfront (lots of upmarket hotels, boats, of course and other tourist attractions), along with the seals and a Pretorian called Johannes. And I still have other companions lined up. A South African friend has put me in touch with Ann Gail and Chris.

Ann Gail has a delightfully  old fashioned town house and three cats, Sebastian, Sobranie and Tai-Lu, each with their own feeding bowl and scratching post. She takes me to Christmas lunch at the iconic pink Mount Nelson Hotel, nestling at the bottom of Table Mountain. Then, The iconic view of Table Mountain from Table View, to the west of the city, Newlands (the cricket grounds), concerts, theatre, the IMAX (suitably, the Lion King) and a New Year’s Eve concert in the Kirstenbosch Gardens.

Return to Cape Town - 2024

I’m flying on Norse  Atlantic. This is an airline I  had never heard of before. I only discovered it on Sky Scanner. But it’s mega cheap and they fly from Gatwick. Of course I’m about to find out why it’s mega cheap. 11 hours overnight and no blanket or pillow. I’ve managed to lose my neck pillow before I even get on board. And the catering looks as if it’s the same company that serves EasyJet. Pot and carton pasta and toasties  all at a price. Unflattering powder blue uniforms. But it’s a modern Dreamliner and the leg room isn’t horrendous. There is entertainment. (Though you have to buy the headphones for 2 USD). And there’s a spare seat next to me ..

It’s a mega bumpy flight. The seat belt sign is on for the majority of the journey. So I’m sleeping fitfully. But Cape Town airport is operating at maximum efficiency this morning. Straight through immigration ( big beaming smiles all round) and the cases are waiting on the carousel.

My hotel is modern and very pleasant. It’s in the Sea Point residential area, nestled below the iconic Signal Hill (probably more distinctive than Table Mountain, with its pyramid peak.) On the roof deck, I laze by the teeny plunge pool and watch  paragliders stream over the top, bands of colour against the bluest of  skies, wandering precipitously down to the sea. I’m not remotely envious.  Super friendly and helpful staff again.  I am reminded how consumer orientated this city is. There are security guards and friendly policemen in all the main tourist areas. Alongside the swarms of touts selling harbour cruises and helicopter rides. There’s a hop on hop off bus ride here too, with the same logo as proliferates in many cities, including Brighton.

The walk to the waterfront is a little more challenging than I would have wished. Google has decided not to collaborate again and it takes me an hour instead of the anticipated 30 minutes. The traffic lights here are called robots and the green walk figure flashes just long enough for me to get half way across the road when the lights are red for the traffic.  Mostly past residential properties, all looking beautifully maintained. But surrounded by barbed wire, tall gates and security sign boards. For all its charms this remains a city with a very high crime rate. The signs are offset by sprays of pink bougainvillea  and purple hibiscus. The air is fragranced with jasmine. And it’s 26 degrees under those clear blue skies.

The V and A Waterfront has at least doubled in size since I was last here. They’ve built a bridge onto the Clock Tower area expanded that and created an enormous silo retail and office area behind it. The new bridge is frequently opened for shipping, which is a trifle disconcerting when you’re standing on it. Beyond that still the city centre has been linked to the waterfront by developing the canal district and the Battery Park, with more bridges, decks and paths. I discovered all this accidentally whilst lost. So, footsore but fascinated. And this time, a quick trip right into the centre: St George's Cathedral. Mandela murals, museums and the colourful Bo Kaap (old Malay Quarter) area, home to rotis and curries. ('Don't go there on your own, I'm warned').

The waterfront area might have doubled, but the rand is worth half as much as it was last time I was here, so things seem relatively cheap. It's less happy of course, for the Rainbow Nation. There is now almost fifty percent unemployment. People hang around the robots and intersections looking for casual labour. The townships stand in stark contrast to the traditional white neighbourhoods of Cape Town. The second largest in the country after Soweto is to the east of Cape Town, at Mitchell’s Plain. Khayelitsha stretches alongside the road, tumbledown with corrugated roofs and thousands of satellite dishes. It has two million inhabitants, almost half the population of Cape Town. But most of the occupants treat this as a temporary residence, whilst they work. Their homelands are in Eastern Cape and they return whenever they can. Guide Clement tells of a London doctor who followed Google's directions into one of the local townships. He stopped to ask the way and was shot.

Wandering back along the coast. Rocky beaches round here and a lighthouse at Green Point,, backed by leisure areas and parks. The new national rugby and soccer stadium stands splendidly reflected in the lake in Humming Green Park. It's all serenely welcoming and magnificently backed by Table Mountain, Signal Hill and the Lions Head.

My last evening is spent watching England play the South African rugby team at Twickenham. As expected, the Springboks triumph, but at least I can be suitably gracious with my hosts who would have been distraught if they had been beaten. Six million watch rugby in England. In South Africa the whole nation engages. This is national pride.

Next stop, 2024, Bloemfontein.)

Hermanus, Western Cape

Chris, originally South African and visiting his family for Christmas provides holiday romance. We spend two weeks around the city sampling its Afro-chic delights and its numerous beautiful beaches, Bikini , Camps Bay, Fourth, Clifton, Llandudno, Melkbosstrand, Mnandi and Muizenberg, before driving out for a few days at at Hermanus. This is the African whale-watching location and whale themes abound through to museums and huge skeletons. It’s not whale season, but I am lucky enough to catch a mother and calf motor past. The sea is stunningly azure, and inviting, but it's deceptive, the Atlantic currents are numbingly cold,

Romance number one fairly predictably bites the dust, as it transpires that Chris has been entertaining ‘an old friend from England’ in-between seeing me, and forgetting to tell me about her. ‘But it was a prior engagement, of course I felt obliged to sleep with her’.

The Cape Winelands

To the east, it’s an easy journey to the picturesque Winelands destinations, such as Stellenbosch, Paarl and Franschoek. Stellenbosch and Paarl are the two oldest large settlements in South Africa after Cape Town. Picture perfect Cape Dutch architecture: green shuttered colonial mansions, whitewashed houses, tiny turrets and cottage gardens. Huge agapanthus flowers contrasting wonderfully. Plenty of boutiques and cafes too. This is one very chi chi university town.

Ann Gail works in Constantia, just outside Cape Town and provides a tour of the very modern and efficient, steel drummed wine estate there. And Franschoek, which was settled by French Huguenot refugees who of course brought their French experience in viticulture. Franschoek is Dutch for 'French Corner'. Some of the estates provide gorgeous up market accommodation and restaurants. They abound at Franschoek, where I spend one expensive, but very pampered night.

Am I Mad to Travel Alone in South Africa?

I’m aware I’m beginning to sound like a travel advert - it’s all so gorgeous (except for the romance), but the townships sprawling each side of the main highway are a sobering counterpoint. I’ve been warned to watch out for objects being thrown from the bridges. In fact I’ve been told by numerous people that I’m mad to even contemplate travelling round South Africa on my own.

South Africa is the third-largest economy in Africa and the most industrialized, technologically advanced economy in Africa overall. Since the end of apartheid, government accountability and quality of life have substantially improved. The country is rich in minerals. But poverty and inequality remain widespread, with about a quarter of the population unemployed and living on an inadequate wage. Crime rates and especially, violent crime are high. There have been countless media stories in the UK about tourists here being attacked and robbed, or worse.

I've been driving around in a hire car, with no problems so far, except the very steep hills and a very small engine. And now I'm departing gorgeous Cape Town for Lesotho.

Kwa-Zulu-Natal

My journey back to South Africa from Lesotho is far too eventful. The starter batteries on the much-too-little-prop-plane are refusing to comply. The pilot eventually announces that he will start the left one manually. This all sounds much too alarming to me, but we make it to Jo’ burg, though very late. There is a stroke inducing transfer to my next plane and I get bundled into business class (not all bad) and arrive in Durban to find that whilst I’ve made it on time my luggage hasn’t.

So, another late start in a hired VW. Maybe I am mad, driving in South Africa, on my own. It’s raining (again), and I’m fumbling with the map, along the Durban Highway and into the mountain wilderness of Zululand. Twelve kilometres down a dirt road hill composed almost entirely of one foot deep mud. Over a rumble strip and the radio jolts. It’s dead. And the right windscreen wiper is stuck in the middle of screen. Why the right one? Dusk fades into dark, and the cell phone signal disappears too. There is nothing moving in the African bush. Am I glad or not? Finally, slithering downhill to discover my isolated lodge. Survive! Luggage arrives. All’s well.

A thirty five year old American bond broker, pleasant face, six two (not bad then), girlfriend (um), Brian shares wine and jokes. Would I like to tour the battle fields with him tomorrow? It’ll save me driving.

Zululand

Close by is Isandlwana, where the British were heavily defeated by the Zulus in 1879. The site is marked by white cairns and a church. Six miles away from there is Rorke's Drift. Here, Lieutenants John Chard (of the Royal Engineers) and Gonville Bromhead, (24th Regiment of Foot) successfully defended their station of just over 150 troops against an 24 hour attack by 3-4,000 Zulu warriors. The Zulus had broken off from their main force at the day-long Battle of Isandlwana. A host of decorations, including eleven Victoria Crosses, were awarded to the defenders.

Rorke's Drift is really interesting, with its distinctive rocky outcrop and monuments. It’s even more entertaining trying to imagine Stanley and Michael re-enacting their scenes from the epic film Zulu, which re-tells the tale. How accurately the detail is I'm not sure, though the main story is certainly true. The Zulus don't get much dialogue, even though the film bears their name.

There's a memorial at Ulundi. This is where the British inflicted the final defeat on the Zulu nation. Close by, at Ondini, is a reconstruction of the Zulu Royal kraal., built in traditional manner. The last one was burnt to the ground by the British

The Age of Romance is Not Dead

Over picnic lunch and in the car, my chauffeur reveals his philosophies and dating etiquette. He is not in love with his girlfriend. Well, he's not sure. They now live apart. She comes from Essex but is called Antonia, not Tracey. Dating in England is so much more complex than the States. In the UK girls put out quickly, you shag someone and then decide if you like them. In the States you have sex on the fifth date. If you're lucky the third. You might compromise on the fourth, but definitely the fifth. After that you're going steady. However, girls who have sex on a first date are sluts.

Back at the Lodge we drink champagne and giggle in the garden. Dinner is even louder.

“You're welcome to crash in my room tonight” Brian offers magnanimously. I decline (graciously of course).

“I don't do one night stands.”

He escorts me to my room. A slightly undignified fumble, while I reinforce my answer. He leaves muttering:

“Well a guy has to try doesn't he? “

“A case of too much information.”

As I’m drifting off my cell phone beeps.

DBL BED IN MY ROOM. THINK ABOUT IT.

The Age of Romance is not dead.

Brian departs, and I spend a lazy day by the pool, (temporarily the only guest) and walking, escorted by three dogs and a pig. in between our slow ambles  they manage to stampede a herd of  cattle, and chase a troupe of monkeys.

Hluhluwe-Imfolozi Park

And then  there’s Hluhluwe-Imfolozi Park too. This is the oldest nature reserve in South Africa. It's supposedly home to Africa's Big Five, but all of those, except the buffalo, are elusive. Nevertheless, it's spring, so the park is full of lovely babies - impala, warthogs, kudu, wildebeest and wobbly giraffes blinking in the grass.

Uhmlanga

Through velvety hills to Uhmlanga, north of Durban. I'd hoped for some beach time,  but I haven't chosen my spot very well. The beach is disappointingly dirty and the roads are full of hitchhikers wandering all over the inside lanes. My bed and breakfast establishment is decidedly seedy. The fridge smells and I can't work out how to turn the TV off. So I turn the sound right down and put a towel over it.

Garden Route, South Africa

My epic South African journey ends with another iconic African destination. The Garden Route proper is a glorious 190-mile stretch of coastline running from the small town of Mossel Bay (Mussel Bay) to the mouth of the Storms River. It’s called the Garden Route because of the lush coastal forests which line the wide sandy beaches. I'm doing what most folk do and travelling the longer distance from Port Elizabeth to Cape Town, though most people do it the other way round.

My car and  I meander along. More stunning scenery from the thatched cottages of St Francis Bay, to Jeffries Bay with its Disneyesque bridge, to the tourist mecca that is Plettenberg Bay, the oyster bars and beaches of Knysna, to the Tsitsikamma National Park and the adjacent, aptly named town of Wilderness, with its own park.

At Tsitsikamma I wander the beautiful Otter Trail. along the edge of the wild seashore, past the Storm River and a terrifying suspension bridge. There are waterfalls and a diminutive cave turned into a shrine. – Tsitsikamma (pronounced ‘Titzee-car-mah’) is rumoured to still have rare forest elephants walking among the huge old trees.

I’m writing this overlooking the most amazing huge sandy beach, at Sedgefield. Here, there's the Kingfisher Trail to tackle. I had calamari and crayfish by candlelight on the beach last night.

I'm going to catch the 20 million year old Cango Caves, with their stalactite formations, on my way back to Cape Town. Then, it's time to go home.

(And read more about South Africa here.)